Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
