Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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