Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
