i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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