i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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