Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
