How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Randomize
