i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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