Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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