PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Randomize
