I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
