you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
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Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
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I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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