well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
