he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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