Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
