does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
