I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
