so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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