Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem