Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards