The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
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We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
YAS. BRING CRAB.