we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?