Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.