i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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