STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize
