whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
she told me i tasted like america
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
