so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
