this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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