there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
