I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
