Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
