Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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