ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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