im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
