Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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