I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
