We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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