hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i wish my penis had a tongue
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
