the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
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I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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