you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
