youre lurking in front of me
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
