Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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