Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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