You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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