quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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