U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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