I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
