Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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