So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
