I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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