I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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