That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
