this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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