1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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