we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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