He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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