please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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