i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
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he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
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This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
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