Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I wannas sexs uuuuu
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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