After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
