I've blown a few things in my day
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
