im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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