A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's rum buckets o'clock
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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